I have a friend; lets’ call her Jane.
Jane has a list.
A list of 100 things that her teenager should be able to do by the time he is 18.
She wrote this list whilst lying on a sunbed, after a couple of glasses of something pink and sparkly, so we will allow Jane some wriggle room on a few of the items (‘ride a horse’?... it’s not the 18th century, Jane!), but overall I think it is a rather wonderful list, so I’m going to share it with you here.
Not in its full ‘list-like’ entity of course, that would be a bit of a dry read, but the ‘highlights’ if you will. And some of my own reflections, because I actually love this list and the whole concept of such a very practical approach to parenting.
Let’s start with the founding basics of what the young ones call ‘adulting’ these days.
Adulting
No one can disagree with Jane’s starter skills of catching a bus or train alone, riding a bike, or booking an appointment (though today’s kids don’t like to actually speak on their phones, so that right there is another one to add to the list; be able to make a phone call).
I also agree that being capable in First Aid, CPR and calling the emergency services is vital for survival in an unpredictable world.
Maybe less vital (what was the thinking here, Jane?!) could be; carving a chicken, making fresh soup, and opening a bottle of wine.. though if the 18 year old can do these, can I please come for dinner?
‘Using a microwave’ should probably also be on there, though, to cover all culinary abilities!
Be kind
Many items on the list are essential life skills, and I could not agree more with; giving up your seat to someone who needs it, shaking hands to greet someone, and writing a thank you note (though it’s more likely to be a WhatsApp these days, but still).
It costs nothing to be a kind and considerate human being, and I suspect the world has never needed it more.
However Jane may have been on the emotional side of the bottle of sparkles half way through the list when the following made an appearance; make a sincere apology, spot fake news, and make a polite complaint. It is true that these are all helpful skills that we might hope we don’t have to use too often, but so important in a civil society to remember them! As perhaps are; being able to negotiate, debate an argument calmly, and think critically. Wouldn’t that make the world a nicer place?
Winning at life!
I personally cheered when I read the following, as I worry they are (all too often) ignored but simple skills which university students in particular seems to struggle with when living independently for the first time; unblock a toilet, iron a shirt, and work out a budget. And whilst we’re at it, I salute the following of Jane’s skill list too; write a formal letter, clean a bathroom and change a duvet cover!
Who hasn’t watched a teenager wrestle themselves into a duvet cover because they ignored the time honoured tradition of turning the duvet inside out first! Watching them try to get out of it is quite entertaining though!
Having something along the lines of Jane’s list is brilliant in my opinion, and do take from this article what you will, but if we can help our next generation of young people to be ready for what life throws at them, and be considerate and kind along the way, then we will be doing them a huge service (whether or not they can ride a horse!).